God is With You Wherever You Go!

My Joseph the Dreamer Season:

This has been a season of losing my life, a season of choosing what God wants and not what I want. Trust me, I’ve contemplated choosing me. But I found myself wanting to die for him because that’s what this season feels like. Even though I’m dying where I’m at and with what I’m doing He sustains me and gives me peace, love, and so much joy. And in the pain I hold on to the moments with Him that overwhelm me, the love that overwhelms me deeply. The moments when I feel His heart beating through mine as if our hearts are one.

Atleast when I’m dying He is more alive. Truly dying to self is letting your own desires go to meet with Gods desires. His hand, His portion is much better than what I can imagine, even when my eyes only see Jericho and so much ungodliness. I see from merely a human perspective. But God sees all. I use to think I had a positive outlook on what I see,but Gods teaching me that the beauty is what isn’t seen, it’s only what He’s doing that’s beautiful and what he already did that’s beautiful. Like you and me, we are all beautiful to God. I’m thankful for starting to realize what following Jesus and picking up your cross really means. It means working for the Lord at a job you don’t feel comfortable in. It’s about serving people that hit you and abuse your kindness, just like Jesus suffered. It’s compassion for other’s fears that lead to sin. It’s checking your own heart especially when your so disappointed in yourself for not calling an emergency because your nervous of how the process will go. It’s asking for forgiveness and getting on your knees to worship the one and only one. God I chose you and I don’t regret any of it, even though I’m crying and inflicted you are with me always. You said, “But the Lord was with Joseph in the prison and showed him his faithful love. And the Lord made Joseph a favorite with the prison warden.”

‭‭Genesis‬ ‭39:21‬ ‭NLT‬‬

The Lord was with Yona in the hospital and showed her his faithful love. And the Lord made Yona a favorite with the hospital staff and patients. The Lord is with me and He is faithful especially when I’m not, He is living especially when I’m not. He’s always Himself never wavering. I’m in awe of Him. Joseph was crying, drowning, depressed, questioning God as am I. He was sold by his brothers. I’ve experienced family betrayal and it hurts the most. I’m still recovering, but I’m fully mended from God. Scars don’t go away unless God removes them. It took years of pain for Joseph and he stayed faithful to God, so faithful and he got the biggest recompense. Jospeh ruled under Pharaoh and saved thousands from famine. It couldn’t have been bearable. God simply knows better, he knows what’s best for us. What was best for Jesus and all of us was for him to be persecuted and torchered and disrespected and hated, what’s our excuse?

It seems like I get things I want, yet it’s nothing what I thought it would be, so I don’t want it anymore. It was all I wanted then. Imagine Jesus being like me. Jesus hating that the Pharisees were coming after him, so he had enough and walked away from his destiny…… we wouldn’t have had access to the Father. What if everything hard we have to go through is the only way. It’s the only narrow path, it’s God’s way to clear it for others who are still lost. It’s for a reason greater than us so much greater, I know it. We have to stand with our cross in our hands as he wipes our tears away. I’ll keep choosing God especially when it hurts to. And he will open that door to my recompense he will reward me and I cannot wait for the time.

“Potiphar noticed this and realized that the Lord was with Joseph, giving him success in everything he did.”

‭‭Genesis‬ ‭39:3‬ ‭NLT‬‬

In the midst of the storm let’s just worship like we are dying 🤍

“Jesus turned around and looked at his disciples, then reprimanded Peter. “Get away from me, Satan!” he said. “You are seeing things merely from a human point of view, not from God’s.”

Then, calling the crowd to join his disciples, he said,

“If any of you wants to be my follower, you must give up your own way, take up your cross, and follow me.”

If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake and for the sake of the Good News, you will save it.

And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul? Is anything worth more than your soul?

If anyone is ashamed of me and my message in these adulterous and sinful days, the Son of Man will be ashamed of that person when he returns in the glory of his Father with the holy angels.””

‭‭Mark‬ ‭8:33-38‬ ‭NLT‬

Fast forward to now October 10th, 2021, my mommy’s birthday. I waited on the Lord to give me that reward.

“And he will open that door to my recompense He will reward me and I cannot wait for the time.”

God gave me a new job after quiting my hospital job that made so much more money and that everyone in my life, and the norms of society thought I was crazy to give up. I am about to start my new job at my old high school as the school nurse! I waited on the Lord, remained obedient to the Lord, and praised the Lord in the storm, in the prison, as a slave like Joseph. And God was with me every second, I shall not fear.

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Venmo: @Yona-Downes